Will it Deep Fry?: State Fairs Bring Obscene Foods into the Limelight

Flickr: Kevin Dooley cc 2.0

I like State Fairs. Something oddly nice about walking into a mix of a Normal Rockwell painting, a seaside midway, and the infield during a NASCAR race. But when the State Fair rolls around, it’s the same conversation: the “what-is-the-weirdest-deep-fried-thing-to-eat?” talk. The most jaw-dropping deep frieds seem to be deep-fried pizza, washed down with a deep-fried Pepsi. Also deep-fried Moon Pies, candy bars, pickles, avocados, and Spam curds. Then there’s “Pigs in the Mud”, thick-cut bacon drenched in chocolate.

In Texas, they hold a “friendly food fight” where they choose the best, most creative deep fried foods in a contest. Among the recent winners: deep-fried lattes, deep-fried peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwiches, fried cookie dough. This year’s winner? Chicken-fried bacon. Oh the humanity.

Deep-fried State Fair food prompts us to openly condemn the mere existence of such concoctions. We turn our noses up at the very idea that people are out there – right now – fully submerging Twinkies in boiling fat. Some of us try them anyway, shelling out a chunk of change to say we tried it. (Sometimes it is worth it.)

Note: Fried foods can be traced back to even ancient Rome, where they made fritters. The Dutch took this and made it better: they created doughnuts.

We act shocked that such culinary obscenities are out there, but we’re perfectly fine to NOT be shocked about some of the things Americans chow down on every other week of the year. But it seems like the everyday State Fair-type foods – and their nutritional content – are coming out of the woodwork. These late summer stints of Pigs in the Mud just shine a light on some other calorie bombs.

There’s the increasingly popular Eat This, Not That, which tells you the worst foods in America. The worst? Outback Steakhouse’s Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing has 2,900 calories and 182 g fat. But wait. Of course cheese fries are going to be awful. Correct, but ETNT also uncovers surprises. The worst “healthy meal” is Ruby Tuesday’s Bella Turkey Burger with 1,145 calories and 71 g fat. Wash that down with the worst drink: Jamba Juice’s Chocolate Moo’d Power Smoothie. It has 900 calories, and 166 g of sugar.

For shock value, there’s the This Is Why You’re Fat blog. Food so obscene, Justice Stewart would know it when he saw it. A dip for Oreos – made of melted-down Oreo filling. Bacon nachos, hold the chips. And my favorite, a Bacon and Cheese muffin.

Then there’s the Meat Ship and a Sloppy Joe Krispy Kreme. Oh. My. God. Gross.

So while the State Fair briefly drags out the deep-fried wonders, remember that you don’t have to wait until August to be disgusted. There’s plenty of that to go around every single day.

Now I’m off to eat raw spinach.

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